The beginning

She's never made love to a woman.
Truth be told, she'd never even loved a woman like she loved Brenna. An abusive marriage then a long line of conquests (she'd searched these men out!) and failed relationships (she didn't want them once she had them) had led her to believe love wasn't what it was supposed to be. If it existed at all.
Now in her forties, circumstances changed tremendously. A woman she'd met in the midst of her marriage, best friended, and spent twenty years getting to know was now, surprisingly, the center of her world. She'd fought the feelings for over a decade. In fact, she battled anxiety so fiercely, it became an issue in her life. Then, just when she thought she couldn't handle life any longer, a conversation with Brenna sparked an acknowledgement of her hidden feelings. And Brenna's.
Driving around talking for hours, it was almost like a game of tag as they slowly unfolded what was hidden behind the surface of this strangely solid friendship. Each country drive became someone's turn to be "it" and unveil a little tidbit of information, neither woman willing to lay all the cards on the table in one session. After all, who wanted to ruin a close friendship by saying, "Hurray, I'm gay...and I love you?"
Having been roommates for over a decade, they raised their children together, faced births and deaths side by side, experienced the good, the bad, and the not so beautiful, never waivering from their positions. People had questioned this relationship for years. Even in their defensive arguments of denying a more intimate partnership, they fought steadfast together. By no means could that 'L' word be true. Both women too afraid of losing the other because of society's ignorance or worse, what if the other one left because she couldn't handle the idea that there may just be more feelings coming her way than she wanted?
Brenna, the girly girl, life of the party, "let's go have fun" woman had paired up with Chris, the self-declared jill of all trades, tomboy for life, "let's experience everything" woman with a wrench in her hand and a toolbelt proudly hanging in her closet. Originally, it had been a partnering of convenience and security. Neither wanted to raise their child alone. As the years unfolded, it eventually became undeniable that there was so much more to their story, if they'd just approach the situation with some fearlessness and compassion.
Guess there really is a greater plan for everyone because last fall the terms "life time companion," "partner," and "all who's wonderful in my world" were finally spoken. Scared of their own words, of the other leaving, of living a new life encompassing this love, they both took baby steps until the realization was too powerful to hide any longer.
Last week, the words "I can't imagine my life without you, nor do I want to","I'm in love with you- deal with it!", and "We're in it to win it- together, forever" solidified the connection. What a relief! Six months of skirting the issue, giving little bits at a time, saying the words but not acting upon them had finally developed into pure straight up acknowledgement- at least between the two of them. How sweet those words were! How wonderful life was becoming.
Basking in the memory of this relationship's journey, Chris woke up this morning wondering what would happen next. They have a vacation coming up in a couple of months- just the two of them. Could she really hold Brenna and make love to her-as beautifully as Chris had dreamed of so many times? Would Brenna allow her to- after all, society's labels often kept her a bit more reserved. There's no doubt about love's existence- it's living in their eyes and floats on the air between them so thick it would smother an observer...but....
Chris has never made love to a woman.