It Don't Taste Like Chicken

Ok, the title...I couldn't resist the title...lol...I am in a giddy almost stupidly euphoric mood this morning....
So, yesterday I decided to meander into my sweetie's room and awaken her per the norm... no plans to do more than a huge lingering hug....well, toss my salad and call me caesar if she didn't roll over, give me that sheepish little smile of hers and pull me in for a longer wake up call. Yeeee-hawwww! :o) I can say I'm officially a non-virgin! rofl....
We spent hours together afterwards and you have to know I spent most of the day reliving these tender moments in my mind. Wow! And the second greatest part? I performed well enough she found the skyrockets! That honestly was something I was worried about- hey, I've only been with guys up to this point. Didn't know if I could make her feel the way I wanted. Amazing where love will take us!
But the greatest part was, of course, the closeness- being intimately united with the one I have secretly loved for many years. Ah yes! What a freakin' rush! I'm gonna freeze those moments and keep them alive in my heart forever. Dang, I'm such a freakin' sap! lol
Ok, maybe there's one more great part- it's still raining here and it's her day off! We may just have to 'watch a movie' for a while this morning! rofl....
Have a super day wherever you are and whatever you do. :o)

Good morning at noontime ;o)

Ok, just stopping in quickly to see what's up out here. Yes you did read the headline correctly- I am officially saying good morning at noontime. It's rainy and dreary in the northeast USA today but in my world it's blazingly sunny.
Jude, if you are reading this, you can chalk up another one-- you weren't wrong, but May's gonna be awesome too! ;o)
I'll be buzzing back in later today or early tmw to write more. Have a super day!

Learning to speak in braille ;o)

So this morning I was innocently doing the "good morning honey" thing when I crept into her room. Had no plans for any roving of the manual digits...I had decided I didn't want her to think I was just seeing her as a sex object- even though she is very well endowed and very beautiful- I figured it would be in my best interest to just hold her and cuddle....When what to my delight happened, she began leading my fingers' location and gosh darn those incredible nails of hers streaming slowly, sensually up and down my back....shoot, I thought I was gonna explode all over the bedroom! Little peices of me would be bouncing up and down and waving flags! lol Ok, so Chris gets brave after dropping a lot of long lingering attention to the upper regions...Chris is hot and heading south! .........But alas, no news to report...I'm still a virgin of the lesbian kind. lol....guess either her urge to relieve herself of last night's beverages or her desire to wait for the 'right time and place' were too great....and she stopped my lingering hand after a few precious pets between those freaking gorgeous legs of hers.....wow, there's a lot to be said here for that advice: "always leaving them wanting more!" .....rofl....it's all good. I have no doubts the time will come and perhaps she too wants it to be at the beach. She won't really talk about things...not openly....I get little phrases throughout the day that make my heart jump outta my chest. Like yesterday's "you thrill me." when we were filling our coffee mugs up at the coffee shop. Then a wink and she's on to the next order of business. Soooo now I am probably gonna ask the world's dumbest question. Be forewarned and don't spit your coffee or glass of wine onto your computer! lol...If she won't outwardly tell me beyond these subtle, spur of the moment outbursts, how do I know how much she is or isn't enjoying what's happening between us? Perhaps I am just being insecure--I guess maybe her just initiating this morning should tell me something.... Anything anyone has to say would be appreciated.......all I know is I love her from the center of my being and life is so far beyond good today...guess all I can do right now is follow my heart and let love lead me.....have a great day all.... :o)

Am I Wrong?

We are heading out to the beach for a four or five day stay in mid-May. I had envisioned mustering up the courage to go from plutonic to a bit of petting and kissing at that time. Obviously by the smirk smeared across my face...that didn't happen.
I gave her a beautiful promise ring which she wears so proudly now. That too was supposed to be a surprise on our trip...but I got tremendous news the day it came- we wouldn't be foreclosed on our house and now I will in fact be able to put her name on it with mine- soooo, I gave her the ring.
Ok, so I am a real soft mushmelon! lol...anyway, this morning I could have easily stayed in her bed and proceeded to prune the hedges I have yet to attend to, but I thought how wonderful it would be to take her out on the beach under the stars and have our first time be there.... so I recoiled my rovering hands and woke her up fully to have coffee.
I guess my question is--- am I wrong to want to have it be special while on vacation? or should I just go for it before? I mean, obviously the first time will be special no matter what...but am I being cruel to excite her and then draw back to wait another month and a half? What would you do? Come on now, someone's gotta help me along here...lol....this is my first time doing the horizontal mambo with another woman...and she's not just any woman to me- but you know that from reading my blogs. :o)
Ok, I am off to go plaster I love you's all over our private myspace. Yes, I know I am such a freaking goober!! rofl...The day before yesterday I even pulled a carnation flower off the bouquet in our diningroom and secretly placed it in her glass case to find at work. That sure won a wonderful smile when I showed up to take her home! Wow, what's happened to me?! I've always been the gruff tough tomboy now I've shrunken into a soft, mushy, shadow of myself (but only with her! ) ! lol.....
Have a great day everyone! :o)

What a Difference A Day Makes...

Did you hear that bongo drum beating wildly yesterday morning? I'm sure you did. If it shook you out of your comfortable slumber I must apologize. But I'm truly not sorry for what created the sound!
I have replayed this new memory a thousand times and each time seems new to me. Ok, here's what created the stir: Things went a bit further early yesterday morning, and as I unbuttoned each button of her nightshirt, my heart not only skipped a few beats but banged like it was going to drill a hole in my chest. Damn! Touching, squeezing, kissing, loving...yep, I have officially splattered my dna all over her beautiful breasts. Then of course I had to hold her and tell her how beautiful and wonderful she is so yesterday's wake up call lasted a bit longer than normal.
Funny thing is, I actually had gone into her room to awaken her early for a long trip we needed to take - nothing more, but her morning cuddly snuggly nature got the best of me ;o) Yeah, we were late leaving on our excursion- lol...(not my fault, an hour passed in a dang minute!) but we still got things done that needed to be taken care of yesterday.
Driving down the road, my thoughts remained wrapped up in her arms and I had a new sense of acceptance for what I once deemed man's failure - "Is that all you think about? Sex?!" lol... No, I honestly don't see her as a sexual being I must conquest--although I guess this blog may make it sound that way-- I just have this incredible need to be as close to her as I can get....yep, it's just love gone wild. lol
She didn't feel well last night so I tucked her in early and now, here I sit writing and allowing her some extra zzz's. Ok, so I'm clock watching and can't wait for another hour, four minutes and six seconds to pass! lol
Great thing is, she doesn't have to work today! Soooo....this is going to be a wonderful Tuesday- even if I only wear pajamas all day! :o)

I feel like a teeny bopper!

Another morning of sweet silent cuddling has all but dissipated into the past, and here I sit feeling like a young teeny bopper experiencing her first puppy love. And why not? In reality, it is my first real love...
I've never felt as close to anyone before. Looking back at the times I really believed I was 'in' love with someone, I realize that was so far from the truth. The feelings I have today have never been experienced by me. Warm, intense, fuzzy, euphoric little twinges constantly zoom through my body at the mere thought of her presence. If time could be frozen, I'd throw my arms around her soft silky skin and hang on tight, never letting the sensation of uninhibited closeness end.
I guess the truly amazing part is: she loves me too! Why- I'll never understand....but she does! That fact alone makes my heart do cartwheels, my thoughts dance, and my body electrify. My worst days now are still great ones because at the end of the day, I know I have her and the love we share. That is all that matters.
Damn, I feel like a love sick pup! lol.... Call me thick, but yesterday as tired as she was when I awakened her, I wasn't sure she fully realized where she placed my head. (Of course, that didn't really matter too much at the time, I was in 36dd heaven! lol) All I could manage was a few timid caresses and gentle squeezes. Then came today....
She was much more awake, feigning sleep with closed eyes, as I carefully began where I left off in our last morning cuddle session. Again, I petted and stroked only to stop before I went too far too fast. In fact, I repeated the process three or four times. Each time my movements ceased, she'd grab my hand and return it firmly to its original destination. Okay, even in a better position the last time :o) as her fingers ran up and down my back.
Now I sit here like a freaking school kid as thoughts of "I touched her boobies!" run through my mind. I can feel my dimples embedded like cement in my face and I'm sure I look like the cat who ate the goldfish! Amazing how a simple touch can illuminate a world!
This sweet woman who has been abused in the past and has some abandonment issues has decided to allow me closeness. Who would have ever thought? Damn, how great life is!
I'm excited to see where this journey takes us. No, neither of us has ever had a sexual experience with another woman, but I'm really not afraid of that possibility...or more likely, probability. In fact, I don't even see it so much as sex as I do just being close to the one I hold a flaming torch for...that private oneness two people in love share.
Ok, I've rambled more than enough. Suffice it to say, Chris is freaking ecstatic today and yeah, "I touched her boobies!" rofl.....

Reflections

So, this morning I crept into your room as you lay sleeping. Softly I placed my arms around you and whispered,"Good morning sweetheart." Ever so slowly that morning smile of yours- the one that makes my heart do somersaults and back flips-began to appear in the corners of your mouth.
It's become a morning routine to awaken you in this manner and together we stay for a half hour unfolding gently into our day. It's in this quiet, cuddling time when I know I could conquer your vulnerability and push us into a new level of our relationship, but you're so much more than a slab of meat to me that I remain satisfied just to be close to you. I'm noticing though as the mornings add up, you're the one who is slowly becoming willing to allow a more intimate closeness to develop.
Like today when you executed that wide wake up stretch and captured my head under your arm then led it to its resting place upon your breast. It was still dark in the bedroom so you couldn't see the smile that crossed my face from ear to ear. Oh yeah, Chris was in heaven.
Unsure if you were fully aware of what you'd done, I contented myself with a happy snuggle and only a few pets and gentle squeezes. They alone were enough to send electric shocks of euphoria through my body.
Damn, I am so lucky. You are not only beautiful, but brainy and have personality too. Rare to find all three in anyone. I am so blessed.
Since driving you to work, I've returned home to the scent of your perfume and have easily let my mind fall back into this morning's memory. What a great day to be alive.
I so can't wait to take you to the beach and be totally alone with you. No phones. No kids. No responsibilities. Just us. I know you aren't reading this so I can safely say: Secretly I hope to see all fear of vulnerability vanish those four days in May.
Isn't love beautiful?

The beginning

She's never made love to a woman.
Truth be told, she'd never even loved a woman like she loved Brenna. An abusive marriage then a long line of conquests (she'd searched these men out!) and failed relationships (she didn't want them once she had them) had led her to believe love wasn't what it was supposed to be. If it existed at all.
Now in her forties, circumstances changed tremendously. A woman she'd met in the midst of her marriage, best friended, and spent twenty years getting to know was now, surprisingly, the center of her world. She'd fought the feelings for over a decade. In fact, she battled anxiety so fiercely, it became an issue in her life. Then, just when she thought she couldn't handle life any longer, a conversation with Brenna sparked an acknowledgement of her hidden feelings. And Brenna's.
Driving around talking for hours, it was almost like a game of tag as they slowly unfolded what was hidden behind the surface of this strangely solid friendship. Each country drive became someone's turn to be "it" and unveil a little tidbit of information, neither woman willing to lay all the cards on the table in one session. After all, who wanted to ruin a close friendship by saying, "Hurray, I'm gay...and I love you?"
Having been roommates for over a decade, they raised their children together, faced births and deaths side by side, experienced the good, the bad, and the not so beautiful, never waivering from their positions. People had questioned this relationship for years. Even in their defensive arguments of denying a more intimate partnership, they fought steadfast together. By no means could that 'L' word be true. Both women too afraid of losing the other because of society's ignorance or worse, what if the other one left because she couldn't handle the idea that there may just be more feelings coming her way than she wanted?
Brenna, the girly girl, life of the party, "let's go have fun" woman had paired up with Chris, the self-declared jill of all trades, tomboy for life, "let's experience everything" woman with a wrench in her hand and a toolbelt proudly hanging in her closet. Originally, it had been a partnering of convenience and security. Neither wanted to raise their child alone. As the years unfolded, it eventually became undeniable that there was so much more to their story, if they'd just approach the situation with some fearlessness and compassion.
Guess there really is a greater plan for everyone because last fall the terms "life time companion," "partner," and "all who's wonderful in my world" were finally spoken. Scared of their own words, of the other leaving, of living a new life encompassing this love, they both took baby steps until the realization was too powerful to hide any longer.
Last week, the words "I can't imagine my life without you, nor do I want to","I'm in love with you- deal with it!", and "We're in it to win it- together, forever" solidified the connection. What a relief! Six months of skirting the issue, giving little bits at a time, saying the words but not acting upon them had finally developed into pure straight up acknowledgement- at least between the two of them. How sweet those words were! How wonderful life was becoming.
Basking in the memory of this relationship's journey, Chris woke up this morning wondering what would happen next. They have a vacation coming up in a couple of months- just the two of them. Could she really hold Brenna and make love to her-as beautifully as Chris had dreamed of so many times? Would Brenna allow her to- after all, society's labels often kept her a bit more reserved. There's no doubt about love's existence- it's living in their eyes and floats on the air between them so thick it would smother an observer...but....
Chris has never made love to a woman.